What happens to fun as we grow up?
Having lived in a family filled with fun and laughter, I expected it to just remain an integral part of my life. In my early career years, I loved my work and had many friends who loved fun as much as I did. Living with 4 roommates in a home, we added fun to our everyday lives. Every weekend there were invitations to go skiing (living 1 hour away from Banff made this irresistible), potluck dinner parties with inventive themes, movie nights, and the hard-to-resist shopping marathons. As a new wife, I recall fun times being a natural ingredient in our marriage - lots of laughter and light-hearted moments.
When the children were young it was my dream 'job', celebrating life and laughter with these little enjoyable ones. Every day was an adventure.
I first noticed fun leaking out of our lives a few years later, as parental responsibilities became more challenging, and the stresses of life began pressing in. It happened without me noticing, until the day I heard my psychologist friend say, “The number one need of business and professional women is fun.” That just stopped me in my tracks. (and I happen to believe that it's the #1 need of all women). As I reflected on my friend's statement, I came to believe it was true of me. I agreed with her that I had been trying to nurture everyone else in my life, without nurturing myself. I had indeed depleted my resources, and there was precious little energy left, and no fun.
I began to resolutely put fun back into my life, and that of my family's.
When our daughter was going through a rough time, I promised to put so much fun into our lives that I hoped 'she wouldn't be able to stand it'! She started horseback riding lessons, and as I watched from outside the paddock, I observed her build a unique and special rapport with her horse. It was magic to watch her, and it added to her self esteem as well as adding fun to her days. We started going to a craft class in our small town, where we would spend an hour or 2 being taught a craft and walking out with the finished product. Soon the craft table was filled with women and their daughters (many of whom were friends we had recruited) We reinstated family nights for silly games and funny movies. We began camping together...certainly more fun for the kids, but I was game.
I also invited a group of women to a lunch one day. They were acquaintances from our church who I never had the time to get to know. We began a monthly lunch group at each others' homes, and called it 'The Fun Lunch Group.' It nurtured us every month - many laughs, and some tears as we grew very close and shared the ups and downs of life.
My older brother and I share jokes by email - he lives far away and I only see him once each year, but these laughs keep us close. My Mom and I also share a great sense of humour. We took a trip to Italy together and expected to have fun, but we turned into Lucy and Ethel, with a new and funny adventure every day.
Is there fun in your daily life? What things are fun for you?
I wonder if this is partly a generational issue - my 20 something daughter seems to have a lot of fun with little effort - is it easier for women under 40?
Are you able to take time out for things you think of as fun without feeling guilty?
When the children were young it was my dream 'job', celebrating life and laughter with these little enjoyable ones. Every day was an adventure.
I first noticed fun leaking out of our lives a few years later, as parental responsibilities became more challenging, and the stresses of life began pressing in. It happened without me noticing, until the day I heard my psychologist friend say, “The number one need of business and professional women is fun.” That just stopped me in my tracks. (and I happen to believe that it's the #1 need of all women). As I reflected on my friend's statement, I came to believe it was true of me. I agreed with her that I had been trying to nurture everyone else in my life, without nurturing myself. I had indeed depleted my resources, and there was precious little energy left, and no fun.
I began to resolutely put fun back into my life, and that of my family's.
When our daughter was going through a rough time, I promised to put so much fun into our lives that I hoped 'she wouldn't be able to stand it'! She started horseback riding lessons, and as I watched from outside the paddock, I observed her build a unique and special rapport with her horse. It was magic to watch her, and it added to her self esteem as well as adding fun to her days. We started going to a craft class in our small town, where we would spend an hour or 2 being taught a craft and walking out with the finished product. Soon the craft table was filled with women and their daughters (many of whom were friends we had recruited) We reinstated family nights for silly games and funny movies. We began camping together...certainly more fun for the kids, but I was game.
I also invited a group of women to a lunch one day. They were acquaintances from our church who I never had the time to get to know. We began a monthly lunch group at each others' homes, and called it 'The Fun Lunch Group.' It nurtured us every month - many laughs, and some tears as we grew very close and shared the ups and downs of life.
My older brother and I share jokes by email - he lives far away and I only see him once each year, but these laughs keep us close. My Mom and I also share a great sense of humour. We took a trip to Italy together and expected to have fun, but we turned into Lucy and Ethel, with a new and funny adventure every day.
Is there fun in your daily life? What things are fun for you?
I wonder if this is partly a generational issue - my 20 something daughter seems to have a lot of fun with little effort - is it easier for women under 40?
Are you able to take time out for things you think of as fun without feeling guilty?
Please let me hear from you - I speak to women of all ages, and would love to hear your comments.
Yours in Fun,
Darla
Darla
Posts
1 comment:
Fun and raising teenagers ... that is so oxymoronic. As a single mom I have struggled with this for the past several years. There's always housework, shopping, bills, older parents, taxes and other pressing items that take up time. Whenever I was ready to have a bit of fun, I found my teenagers were no longer the eager joiners I had come to expect. They made me feel outdated and foolish with each suggestion, jump through hoops and do a whole lot of guesswork.
I finally stumbled across part of the solution. The big issue with teenagers is they are trying to find their individual identity apart from the family. By meeting each of them separately where wanted to be in their life, I could create an activity they would never have thought of or been able to do without my help. By including their friends, I made them proud to have me as a mom, even though they'd never admit it to me.
Of course ... you can never do the same thing twice or they find it contrived. I still long for my little enthusiastic joiners, but I'm proud of my unique young people and have fun discovering who they are and who they want to be.
Carol Carter
Delta, BC
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