Seize the Moment!

Life is busy for everyone. It seems like there is never enough time to do everything we need to do. Who has time to even think about fun and relaxation? One of my friends said to me recently, “I never take time to relax and have fun. I’m too busy.”

I started thinking about that. I have a full schedule as well and don`t plan for fun as often as I should, but somehow it seems to happen for me. Just a week or so ago, my 19 year-old grandson had a birthday and I was able to host the party. You can imagine ten young people around the table and everyone laughing and talking. It was wonderful - each one telling stories on the others. For about two hours I enjoyed the most wonderful entertainment. It was both fun and relaxing. I seized the moment.

Early last Sunday morning a friend I don`t see very often, called and asked if I could have lunch with her after church. It was a spontaneous invitation and I responded in the same way. She had made a scrumptious dinner and as we sat at her little table, beautifully set, we had lots of fun and laughter, as well as some serious conversation. After dinner, we relaxed in the living room and talked some more. Driving home, I realized how blessed I was. Those two hours, spontaneously ordered, were both fun and relaxing. We had seized the moment.

Eugene Peterson tells us we need to “pay attention to the ordinary,” and to realize that “God is in the everyday.” I agree. Sometimes we let the days slip by without watching for the special moments God may have planned for us - and we miss them. We keep waiting for that large block of time when we can take a big holiday when we think we will have lots of fun and relaxation. We need to keep our eyes open and watch for God’s everyday surprises - and seize those moments.

Have fun!

Till next time,
Eileen

Fun and Relaxation: Let Me Surprise You!

A few weeks ago I hosted a dinner in my home. There were five of us. When I invited the guests (one was unable to come), they all asked who was coming. “Let me surprise you,” I told them. Each one of these women was a leader and none of them knew each other. One by one as they arrived, I could see their pleasure as they discovered new friends. We visited in the living room for a while before dinner and I could not believe what happened. As they began to talk and get acquainted with each other, it was like a spark had been lit. Joy and laughter exploded into the room. No one was a stranger anymore. We were having so much fun I hated to interrupt to gather them to the dinner table.

My intention in having this dinner party was to bring together young women in leadership for mutual edification, encouragement and connecting. Well, it certainly happened. The joy continued throughout the whole meal, but now it was on a different level. They began to ask each other about their lives and ministries, and they listened intently as each one shared her story. The respect and genuine interest on each face was an encouragement to the story-teller and I could see that she was being empowered just from being listened to, and the listeners were being edified by the words she was speaking. My heart was bursting with joy as I watched.

The evening flew by as these women shared experiences that face women in leadership, each one encouraging and building up the others by the reminders of God’s faithfulness through every situation. It truly was an evening of fun and relaxation. I lived on the crest of the joyful atmosphere for several days after.

Tell me about a special time of fun and relaxation you have experienced recently. I’d love to hear about it.

Eileen

Waterloo Early Bird

Hi ladies!

Be sure to register this week for our Women Alive Waterloo Annual Conference to take advantage of our early bird offer and SAVE!

Head over to www.womenalive.org/events/waterloo09 for more details and to register.

Or call 1-800-387-4753.

~ Michelle

Waiting & Expectations

It's so easy to be disappointed in our mates when they don't understand us, leave their socks on the floor, the toilet seat up or just because they don't know what we are thinking. (What are we thinking?)

God's design is for us to be Holy, not just happy. Knowing that God has given me the right mate to accomplish His purposes in my life helps me when conflict arises. I endeavour to ask the question, "What does God want me to learn in this situation?" Oftentimes it's simple: He wants to reinforce the fact that men and women are different and that is good. Exploring those differences helps us understand where 'our significant other' is coming from.

Case in point: One area of contention in our home has been that of 'waiting'. Just yesterday, I talked to my husband Bob, who said he was ready for me to pick him up from work. (We work with one vehicle until motorcycle weather.) When I arrived at his workplace five minutes later, he had gone on another short run. I had to wait. I convinced myself, in only seconds, that I didn't mind the wait, but what I did mind was the fact that he always says that he has to wait for me, and rarely, if ever, do I have to wait for him. I can't tell you how many years this has frustrated me (what I really mean is: it makes me MAD).

Since I was in the middle of this blog (Thanks God, for your clear sense of humour), I asked the Lord to show me what I needed to learn. After all, after forty years together, I should have it all together.

"AHA"- a light went on and God delivered on His promise to give wisdom when I ask. (James 1:5) The revelation was that each of us was coming from a "different frame of reference." For me, waiting is when a time has been set ("I'm ready NOW” or “Supper is at 5:30 and if you're not here, I'm waiting”)

For Bob, if we are going somewhere and he's ready first, he's waiting for me. Or at church, where I love to visit, if I'm not finished talking (!!!), he again is waiting. Of course, I began to see why he felt like he spends so much time waiting for me.

Since I've also learned (reluctantly) that he is not a mind reader, I confronted him this morning about my revelation. It opened up a great discussion and both of us could see that our idea of waiting was totally different. At the end of our friendly conversation, we both agreed that we need to make clarity a priority.

God's purpose is for me to discover that my mate cannot meet all my needs and I shouldn't expect him to. What I can expect, though, is that God, through Christ, can meet all my needs and be my eternal bridegroom. As I look to God for fulfillment, I can then treat my mate the way God intended: with love and respect. Perhaps then, a clearer picture of God's love for His bride will emerge from my marriage.

Let's talk about this area of our significant other. I'm sure together, we could strengthen one another and make the journey lighter. I want to hear from you.

Princesses and Knights in Shining Armour

As I pondered how to begin this topic of significant other, I had a startling thought: "My marriage may be the only picture some people see, to help them understand God's love for His bride."

If that is true, what are those watching learning about God as they look in on my relationship with my husband? Is it the truth about God's love? I sure want to paint a beautiful rosy portrait, but honestly, I fall short in this area of closest human relationships. (No surprise there!)

But who is it that needs to change to make this happen? Any attempt to change my mate has shown me that it is like "trying to catch a squirrel by chasing it." Since that's a futile effort, I'll work on what I can control, changing myself.

The first change needs to be from my natural tendency of selfishness to God's call to selflessness. Now that's not natural. But then again, my life in Christ is not a call to the natural but the supernatural. What I can't do in my strength, He can, as I give Him my weakness.
Sheila Gregoire writes in ChristianWeek (Feb 1,2009) "He (God) made us women to yearn to be princesses who need to be pursued, but He also gave our husbands the need to feel like knights in shining armour!"

Since I tend to emphasize the 'pursuing of the princess' from that quote, I'd like a change here. During this month as we celebrate love, I purposefully want to choose God's plan to forget myself (that doesn't mean neglect) and think of all the ways I could bless my mate.

Ways to make your mate feel like a Knight

Find out about your husbands' hobby or special interest.
I never ever wanted to ride a motorcycle but when Bob retired, he purchased one. Concerned that I'd be bored just riding behind him, but knowing I needed to give it a try, I put on a used helmet and jacket and off we went. It didn't take long for me to discover what I'd never have known if I'd gone by my own preconceived idea: I really enjoy motorcycling. Now we have a wonderful group of brand new supportive friends who all love the sport. On a recent plane flight, I read an article from one of his many cycling magazines and really found it interesting. (Reading one of those magazines has taken about ten years...oops! Need some work here.)
What does your mate enjoy in his free time? How can you connect?

Watch a favourite movie with him. (His choice and no complaints!)
Washroom breaks only!

Bake him a favourite cake or pie from scratch and let him have a piece whenever he wants it. How often have I made Bob a treat and then given the leftovers to someone else. Shame on me!What can you whip up? It's not that difficult.

Listen to what he is saying (undivided attention) endeavouring to hear his heart, not just the words he says. Have you ever misjudged your mate because of poor listening?

Forgive again and again
Ruth Bell Graham said" A good marriage is made up of two good forgivers."

What do you think of that comment?

I'd love to hear your responses to how you make your husband feel like a knight!

Ruth

ie-Zine & Girls Groups

NEW THIS WEEK...
This week, I'm excited to announce the launch of our ie-zine, the monthly ie girl webzine for girls 12 - 20 with new articles every day leading up to Valentine's Day! We've got everything from the ie girl Valentine's Day Party Planner, to "Never Been Kissed". Plus, ie girl goes to the movies with a fantastic review of the currently-in-theatres, Bride Wars with discussion questions for girls and their friends, plus an inspiring article about God's love letters.

If there's a teen girl in your life (or for some fun revisiting your youth!), be sure to check it out at http://www.iegirl.ca/

AND, COMING SPRING 2009...
Our ie girl groups are being launched in communities across Canada. This is a unique ministry not only to girls 12 - 20, but their moms, mentors, friends, and youth leaders are well. You can check out more details on our 'ie girl groups' page.

If you would like to start a group in your area, or find out if one already exists, let me know! ie girl group leader training begins March 2009. For more details, send me an email at info@womenalive.org or feel free to give me a call at 1-800-387-4753.



Nurturing the Next Generation Together,

Michelle
ie girl Director

Facebook Friendships

Recently I signed up on Facebook, the website designed to help connect with friends, celebrate friendship and share every day life. Initially I was reluctant to join this new electronic phenomenon, primarily because of time constraints. With some coaching from my daughter, an avid Facebook fan, I took the plunge.

I have now connected with a large number of former College friends, most of my extended family, friends from former congregations and workplaces, and friends and acquaintances in my current world. Through this vehicle, I have created a new community - one that is formed thanks to technology.

The soul hungers for friendship. It’s a basic human need, like water, food and rest. When we are part of a community, we are given all the essentials needed for growth and development. Whether we understand it or not, our friendships shape us -- our character and our attitudes towards others, circumstances and life. Friends help us live life in-the-now and support us to move into the future with hope, faith, sound advice and a good dose of optimism.

The famed Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I didn’t find my friends…God gave them to me.“ God works through people. He arranges them to come into our lives at various points, times and seasons.

Some friendships are seasonal. Others don’t stay at the same depth level. Some become disconnected from regular connection but they truly care. Then there are those who commit to the long haul and leave an indelible mark on our lives. They are priceless and irreplaceable. All of our friendships are necessary for growth. Friends play a vital part in our lives no matter of the duration, frequency of communication or the level of depth we achieve together. We become the people we are because of our friendships.

Do some friendships go array? Are there times of betrayal? Is there pain in friendship gone wrong? Absolutely! These too are part of our learning and growing even though painful!

As I look through all my current friends on Facebook, I recall situations, moments and times that are marked in my memory as special, meaningful, and yes, life-changing. But Facebook cannot capture the depth of heartfelt love and support that one feels in recalling those moments. Facebook cannot record the prayer that is lifted when a picture is viewed or some information shared. Facebook connects but cannot express the support and encouragement that goes beyond mere words to a heart and spirit language that conveys its own message.

Friendship is a treasured gift from the past, an enriching support in the present and a lasting legacy for the future. Value friendship - it is the essence of life!

Margaret Gibb