It's so easy to be disappointed in our mates when they don't understand us, leave their socks on the floor, the toilet seat up or just because they don't know what we are thinking. (What are we thinking?)God's design is for us to be Holy, not just happy. Knowing that God has given me the right mate to accomplish His purposes in my life helps me when conflict arises. I endeavour to ask the question, "What does God want me to learn in this situation?" Oftentimes it's simple: He wants to reinforce the fact that men and women are different and that is good. Exploring those differences helps us understand where 'our significant other' is coming from.
Case in point: One area of contention in our home has been that of 'waiting'. Just yesterday, I talked to my husband Bob, who said he was ready for me to pick him up from work. (We work with one vehicle until motorcycle weather.) When I arrived at his workplace five minutes later, he had gone on another short run. I had to wait. I convinced myself, in only seconds, that I didn't mind the wait, but what I did mind was the fact that he always says that he has to wait for me, and rarely, if ever, do I have to wait for him. I can't tell you how many years this has frustrated me (what I really mean is: it makes me MAD).
Since I was in the middle of this blog (Thanks God, for your clear sense of humour), I asked the Lord to show me what I needed to learn. After all, after forty years together, I should have it all together.
"AHA"- a light went on and God delivered on His promise to give wisdom when I ask. (James 1:5) The revelation was that each of us was coming from a "different frame of reference." For me, waiting is when a time has been set ("I'm ready NOW” or “Supper is at 5:30 and if you're not here, I'm waiting”)
For Bob, if we are going somewhere and he's ready first, he's waiting for me. Or at church, where I love to visit, if I'm not finished talking (!!!), he again is waiting. Of course, I began to see why he felt like he spends so much time waiting for me.
Since I've also learned (reluctantly) that he is not a mind reader, I confronted him this morning about my revelation. It opened up a great discussion and both of us could see that our idea of waiting was totally different. At the end of our friendly conversation, we both agreed that we need to make clarity a priority.
God's purpose is for me to discover that my mate cannot meet all my needs and I shouldn't expect him to. What I can expect, though, is that God, through Christ, can meet all my needs and be my eternal bridegroom. As I look to God for fulfillment, I can then treat my mate the way God intended: with love and respect. Perhaps then, a clearer picture of God's love for His bride will emerge from my marriage.
Let's talk about this area of our significant other. I'm sure together, we could strengthen one another and make the journey lighter. I want to hear from you.
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